FACCIA A TERRA - How it was born

It was the end of January 2014, the short truce was coming to an end and the signals I was getting from my body began to be more and more clear and explicit. The epileptic aureas had picked up in intensity and vigor and so also the headaches. The fear that the effect of the immunotherapy was already going to finish  increased and at the same time I started getting angry seeing again my dreams and my desire to start a new live being broken and destroyed as a sandcastle invested by the waves of the sea. It was only a matter of days until one morning, awakening, I noticed a steamy spot hinder the view in the central part of my left eye. My instinctive gesture was to rub my left eye thinking it was one of those spots that you have when just awake. But it was not enough, the steamy spot did not disappear. That day I had to leave for Genoa for a 3-day work trip. During the journey from Lodi to Genoa I continued to keep the spot under control by looking at the license plates of the cars that were in front of me, cupping my right eye and realizing that I couldn't distinguish between the letters and the numbers of the plates that were behind the eye spot. Once arrived in Genoa the work distracted me from my thoughts until the evening arrived and anger returned to grow. I was walking along the sea promenade in Genoa, aware now that the truce was over and the fear joined the rage. I found myself crying while, alone, I was walking and I began to repeat in my mind "No, no, no, once again no. ..". But I didn't want to let the fear overwhelm me, so I took a deep breath to stop crying and started again to walk. In my mind I kept on repeating the "No, No, No…." to which I then added “I’m not going to be thrown face down on the ground no”. While repeating it in my mind, the thought took a musical rhythm and I started spelling it softly until I realized that it could be a piece of a new song. I took the phone and recorded it.
Back to the hotel I started to write some of the verses thinking at the same time how to handle my health situation. I decided not to say anything to anybody and to wait for the next day hoping, or I should say dreaming, to wake up without the spot and without headaches. But it did not go that way, and the evening after I found myself writing the first verses of THE RAGE AND THE FOG, but that's another story and you will find the sequel in the next weeks.

FACCIA A TERRA - FACE DOWN ON THE GROUND

English translation - Lyrics and music by C. Ferla 2014

No no no no
I’m not going to be thrown
face down on the ground no
I don’t want to be thrown

No no no no
I’m not going to be thrown
face down on the ground no
I don’t want to be thrown

I will not let guilt overwhelm me for faults that don’t belong to me
I will not force myself to suffer decisions on which I have no power
I will not let them make me collapse after all the things I have faced so far
I will not lose the desire to win after seeing death with my eyes
I will not accept their fate, destiny can be influenced

No no no no
I’m not going to be thrown
face down on the ground no
I don’t want to be thrown

No no no no
I’m not going to be thrown
face down on the ground no
I don’t want to be thrown

I walked through the blade razor without ever falling once
I spent nights in the blackest dark without ever leaving the route
I wiped out my old dark thoughts to make room for new truths
I have always learned something positive even when everything was going wrong
I have learned the lesson and now I know how to pick myself up again with rage and speed

No no no no
I’m not going to be thrown
face down on the ground no
I don’t want to be thrown

No no no no
I’m not going to be thrown
face down on the ground no
I don’t want to be thrown